pretty glow

Brats and Funnel Cake
...written on 09.19.04, @ 2:07 am

My last entry was really hateful and angry. I�m not typically that way but it just seemed that the men (not just those 2) in my life were just messing with my brain and damnit� I was angry. I�ve kept most of my anger about a lot of things to myself for a long time and I�m over it. It was bound to happen.

No, Ryan hasn�t called me and I haven�t called him. That speaks volumes. If there was truly nothing going on with the girl that answered the door� he would have called. So whatever. Live and learn. It seems like I�ve done a lot of that in the last 10 years. Lots of living and lots of learning and I suspect I�ll never quite get it right. That�s okay though� maybe no one else does either.

Something that has nothing to do with anything� Jessica Simpson has totally ruined this song. Take My Breath Away is an amazing song and while she has an amazing voice� it�s just not the same. Long live Berlin.

I can�t recall the last time I had a �perfect� day but I�d have to say that today came close to being perfect. Since it�s officially Sunday and the start of a new week, it looks like my week is going to be okay. Best of all, I think I�m going to be okay.

I went and saw Gary today. He always has a way of putting things into perspective while he�s rubbing me down. Right about the point he was abusing my poor arms he pointed out that maybe I should have had the �what do you want� conversation before I let Ryan toss me on the stove. Point taken and I won�t make any excuses. I let my hormones get the better of me. He did however agree that something should have been said prior to some girl answering the door.

I went home and took a cat nap. I woke up to my massage oil hair and the smell of whatever Gary uses and felt so much better. I could actually move my neck which has been something of a hard thing to do lately. Every emotion and hardship gets stored in my neck and Gary about had a fit this morning when he went to rub my neck. I know I need to relax.

Steph and I met up at the rail this evening to make the trek downtown. My window decided at that moment that it was going to completely freak out. So now, not only does it only go half way up� the window is not connected to whatever it was connected to before. I really need to get that fixed.

Oktoberfest in Denver is probably nothing compared to anywhere else but it�s still fun. They close the square off downtown and a bunch of drunks stumble around and eat pork chops on a stick. I think it�s a little like the renaissance festival without the costumes or shops. Seriously. This old man� and I do mean really old, probably 70 or so was hitting on us and eventually coaxed Steph out onto the dance floor. That was a sight to see. He also mentioned that she should be a centerfold. What do you say to that really? I ended up having to dance with this other guy and he managed to step on my feet about 10 times. Good times.

This other group of guys also decided to hang out next to us and eventually they bought us a beer and I was elected to go with red shirt guy to get the beers. He of course started the whole, �so have you always lived here and what do you do� thing. I really wasn�t in the mood because tonight was about hating men (Steph has her own asshole man issue) and having fun. I gave him short answers and he grabbed my ass. I just shook my head at him. He just really had no clue that he was reinforcing my position. I found out later that he grabbed Steph�s ass too. Idiot.

3 strong German beers later we were ready to go home and while we didn�t have to deal with a shuttle bus this time, there was still some sort of issue so it took longer than usual. We agreed that no matter what it takes, we�re going to see U2 next year and we started some initial Mexico planning. By the time I got back to my car I had had enough. Before pulling out of the lot, Steph rolled down her window and cranked �When the Sun Goes Down�� she pointed at me, started singing along with Kenny and then yelled, �you and me baby� Mexico and umbrella drinks�.

Just what the doctor ordered.

Here�s to the next week being better and not so angry�

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