pretty glow

Hi. My name is Jennifer and I'm a stalker.
...written on 09.15.04, @ 12:58 am

Insomnia sucks. I�m sure having the internet doesn�t help. I start reading something or playing a game and next thing I know it�s midnight. Ugh.

Anyway�

I have no news on the letter front. He hasn�t exactly mentioned it and I�ve managed to stress over it enough that I think to mention it would just confirm how unstable I am.

I had started thinking that I was a psycho stalker. I called him on Saturday to let him know I was home. I called a little later. I went to the Rocky Mountain Harley 25th Anniversary party and then swung by Colin�s just to see if he was there and maybe stop by. He wasn�t there (and it was late) so I decided he had gone camping (or something equally fun). I hung out with Colin�s drunk ass and then went home. Then on Sunday I tried calling him again in the afternoon. What is wrong with me? Then I remembered I hadn�t paid Colin the rest of the rent I owed him so it was a perfect excuse to drive by there. He wasn�t home. By Sunday night I had finished making him the CD he had asked for (and labeled it with my new cool labeler and printer) so I wrote him a quick note and took it over there (at 10:30 at night, I�m sick). The note was sort of to the point and I just said it wasn�t my intention to freak him out, I understood he was busy but could he please call me.

I�ve never been a stalker before. It�s kind of weird. I usually make fun of girls that call a guy over and over and over. �Honey, he�s not answering and not calling back� he�s not interested�. I usually wonder why they have nothing better to do than drive by said guy�s house. �Girl, get a life�. I was starting to feel creepy about it to be honest. Seriously� Houston, we have a problem.

He called and woke me up Monday morning to tell me he loved the CD and that he had gone camping and he wanted to see me this week. When he realized he woke me up he said he�d let me go back to sleep and I think I said something like, �no, this is the best way to wake up�. Not only have I turned into a freak 16 year old again but I think saying semi-cheese things like that is cute. How old am I? He eventually called me �babe� in this very macho man way (I think I got horny over it) and started laughing and asked if he could call me that. Well, duh� of course. He also said I was a little crazy but not full blown psycho yet.

He called me this afternoon to say hi. He told me again how much he liked the CD but that there were a couple of �out there� songs on it. Basically it was a compilation of my favorites since we both like music and he wanted to know what I was into. Apparently �Lick� by Joi is out there even though it was more or less a tribute to him. He�s not sold on it yet. He also wasn�t quite sure about �Mister Machoman� by the Lords of Acid. I can maybe understand Machoman� it is kind of out there but I love it. I was extremely happy when he said he loved song 10� the guy with the accent and the piano. Oh yes� he likes David Gray. Bonus. Speaking of which, I think �Be mine� has surpassed �this years love� as my favorite. However� �Faster, sooner, now� is pretty damn good too.

So now that he�s promised a lube job and a conversation this week� I don�t feel so bad. It turns out that �S� (the new baby�s mom) turned crazy last week and for whatever reason doesn�t want him involved with the baby. I suspect that was the wrong thing to say to him since he�s proven his kids mean a great deal to him. The next step will be court. Drama� but whatever. We�ll see what happens.

I was beginning to worry that I�d do something crazy like snoop around in his things or spray his cologne in my purse next time I see him but even I�m not that creepy.

I really had something funny to write and I forgot what I was going to say. Maybe tomorrow�

I�ll leave you with this picture from New Hampshire.

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