pretty glow

Notes from home.... Monday
...written on 05.04.04, @ 9:23 am

5/3/04

My previous entry is pertinent to this entry so go back and read it. :)

So, I said on Friday that I wasn't going to be upset that Jason didn't call... and I lied. It is sort of upsetting to me. I'm having one of those, "what's wrong with me" moments. I spent quite a few ~~seconds~~ minutes staring at my phone and saying, "ring damn it" over the weekend. I'm really that ridiculous sometimes and of course I can't call him again because I think that looks bad in a pathetic sort of way. I told Mia today... if he wanted to call me he would have and obviously he didn't want my number that badly. It's a mental thing I do so that I can reject the situation before I get rejected. It's neurotic... I know. So that's where we stand with that. I might show up at the bowling alley tomorrow night to innocently talk to Mia... he should be there bowling. I could get a better feel for the situation then. That seems more stalker like but less creepy than a repeat phone call.

Why is dating so incredibly lame? Whatever happened to the days when you could simply say, "hey, I like you. Let's go grab some drinks"? What was so wrong with that method?

I felt like renting Swingers just to figure out when I should call Jason. I don't know the rules anymore. I abhor games but at the same time there seems to be a science to the phone call timing that everyone but me knows.

I didn't rent Swingers but I did call my biggest manwhore friend Grimes. If anyone would know the rules... he would and he was even a little stumped. He said that because Mia asked for his number for me it looks like I'm not confident enough to talk to the guy myself first of all. Great. Then he said that he thought the Thursday night call was maybe a little early but that if I called Friday night it would look like maybe I was a dork that didn't have plans on a Friday night [which sadly wouldn't be far from the truth]. So, we finally both agreed that Thursday night was the best plan of action because I could maybe make plans with him on Friday. That would only work of course if he answered or returned my call and neither happened. Even Colin thought the Friday night call would be a dumb move... and he hasn't gotten any action in months. On second thought... maybe that is his problem.

Do you see how stupid this all is? I personally don't care when someone calls as long as they call. I wouldn't read into the timing of a call either. To me... there is no indication of desperation on anyone's part based on the amount of time between acquiring said number and making a call.

I think I just want to become the old spinster cat lady... at least when my cats ignore me I'll know why.

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