pretty glow

Your girlfriend is fat
...written on 09.09.05, @ 10:44 am

I really need to get with the program.

I don�t have internet at home and we have no TV. We sit around eating dinner while watching movies from Netflix. I suppose if we strapped some rabbit ears to the top of the set, we might get local stuff but neither one of us cares enough to do so. If you tell me you don�t know what rabbit ears are I might feel compelled to feel old. Beyond that, we can�t get cable. I know this is a foreign concept to most but it�s a reality for us. We grew up with this reality though so it�s nothing new to us (imagine having a party line on the home phone at the age of 13. Not pretty.). We can see where the cable stops� just beyond the fence in the back. Not to say we don�t know how to rig it to get cable, but seriously if we don�t want to deal with rabbit ears� who needs cable? We actually have two satellite dishes strapped to the front of the house and all we need are receivers but we�re so fixated on just closing the mortgage loan that it just doesn�t seem important and might never.

Every day the mortgage company throws something new at us. Some new hurdle we have to jump over. They say jump and we ask how high. They�ve assured us that they have everything but this is the 3rd or 4th assurance. Everyday we get a �you can close tomorrow if everything lines up� message. It�s coming down to the wire and the stress level is insane. Despite all that, we�ve not fought once. You would think we�d snap a little under all the pressure but no. We come home to each other and hug and kiss and love and nothing can shatter that for us. I look back at other relationships that thrived on fighting and yelling and drama and I wonder what the hell I was thinking. This is so much more pleasant.

Every other day is spent improving our home. We borrowed a tractor from a crazy alcoholic aunt and now I have even more flowerbeds to plant in. My goal is to be a little white cottage in the woods with lots of flowers. Todd is making that goal a reality and all he had to do was dig out some dirt and move it. I�m easy to please. Summer is coming to a close and ground freezing is fast approaching. I can only hope it holds out another month. It�s so hard to tell how long you�ll have to get fall bulbs in the ground.

All the while my parents are curious what�s going on with Todd and me. Dad and I were at the salon getting our hair cut the other night. Before you go thinking that�s strange� we all have the same stylist. Dad boldly asked what was going on. I told him it was for Todd to know and him to find out. Todd is kind of scared to talk to my dad about us but I think his time of avoiding it is running out. I find it a little amusing but then again it isn�t something I�ll ever have to do. He probably doesn�t even need to do it but we�re old fashioned and he wants to.

I�ve come to the decision that I also don�t like women that can�t stand on their own. This goes for men too but because I have to deal with an ex-wife that can�t figure her shit out� I�m more irritated with the women. For weeks she�s been wildly plunging back and forth over her feelings for Todd. One day she�s still in love with him and the next day she�s back with her boyfriend. Todd and I know her confessions of love are crap and that ultimately she�s scared to be on her own. She�s grasping and looking quite pathetic in the process. We find it humorous and we laugh about it secretly to ourselves. However, she is getting more and more desperate. Her newest technique is to bash me. Just the other day she told Todd I was fat and she wasn�t sure how he could love me. It bothered me, which I�m sure had more to do with my stress level than anything else. How much more childish do you need to get? Life goes on and I told Todd, �at least I�m not ugly�. I also still possess all of my teeth since I don�t do drugs but that�s a point we�re not about to make to her. She seems to think we�re still in the dark about that.

We�re off to Nebraska this weekend to see the munchkin, which means I�ll have to see her but whatever. She knows better than to say something to me. If she did, she�d regret it. I�m smarter and can come up with well-masked insults, which are much better than �your girlfriend is fat�.

:: | ::
pretty | glow