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What was so important on that plate anyway?
...written on 04.30.05, @ 2:03 pm

Since when did it become socially acceptable to allow your children to be completely obnoxious in public? Did I miss the etiquette column on that one?

Hear me out. I love kids... and I used to work in a daycare. I know way more about children and parenting then I ever thought I would. I never had the burning desire to pro-create. This is not to say I still have that mindset but I've noticed lately that children are out of control. I'm sure your children are perfect and special and can do no wrong so this is in no way directed at "you".

Mia and I went to dinner this evening and I did my best to ignore the multitude of rug rats running about but I finally had to say something.

The little urchin behind me was sort of wandering around aimlessly down the walkway between the booths a lot. Once while Mia was up getting another plate, the kid actually stopped at our table and started groping the bench seat I was occupying and half sat on it next to me. I'm a patient person and for the most part I ignored it but at no point did a parent actually ask him not to bother me. Is it too much to ask that you control your kid? I know.. easier said then done right? Is it then my responsibility to school this young man (I'd approximate 6 or 7) on the happiness that is personal space and how it applies to strangers? I don't think so.

Seated across from us were 2 very adorable little girls who I would guess to be about 5. I actually watched one lick her plate. There was a long dribble of drool involved. I don't get grossed out very often but that was a little more than I could handle. I don't really blame her though... if my mom was engrossed in conversation with her friend and not paying any attention to me I would probably do whatever I could get away with too. The plate licker didn't stop at that though... she started playing around and screeching at a rather annoying decibel in the aisle right next to me. It wasn't until I finally kind of looked at the child with what must have been some sort of disgust that the mother actually said anything. Am I out of line? Plate girl and her equally unruly friend then decided that standing on the seat and leaning into the space behind them was appropriate and more noise ensued. I don't think I ever saw the lady seated behind them actually relax. Perhaps if you wanted to have a little hang out time with your girlfriends you could get a sitter? I mean it's not brain surgery. These 2 mothers were literally not paying any attention. Then the waitress did the unthinkable and brought the girls these really long balloons. I believe Mia said, "if I get hit with a balloon, I'm hurting someone". I understand. By the time we left the pair were several booths over climbing around like it was a jungle gym.

Okay... I understand kids. They have energy, they don't stop, they're loud, and they're cute. I was a child once... I know how it goes.

But... for the love of God, please teach your children socially acceptable behavior.

I'm not going to pretend that Bubba (Todd's 3 year old) is perfect because he is not. I do hope by the age of 5 I can teach him that licking his plate, in public or otherwise, is not acceptable. I hope that I can instill some manners in him.

I just knew watching all of this that had it been me... my back end would have felt it (luckily Todd and I agree on the spanking issue... and don't start, I turned out perfectly fine). Maybe we just knew there was a time and place for most behaviors and followed rules. Our parents could just give us "the look" and we were right back in line.

Seriously... I think if my child couldn't function at least half decently in a crowded restaurant... I wouldn't take him to one.


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