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Extra
Home remodeling 101
...written on 02.07.05, @ 1:17 pm
Just a few tips and suggestions for your future home remodeling adventures that I came up with over the last few weeks.
1. Painting ceilings sucks ass. Avoid it at all costs. If you have to do it, do it at night in partial light so you can actually see where you've painted if the new color is incredibly close to the old color.
2. To avoid much sparkage and possible electrical fire hazards I suggest you make sure the light fixture you're about to pull out of the ceiling is turned off. Unless of course you're into scaring the crap out of yourself and your girlfriend in which case I think you have bigger problems than crappy light fixtures.
3. For the love... do not paint trim. It makes the next homeowner upset when they have to pull it out due to sheer ugliness. Re-doing trim for an entire house - $500. No, it really isn't attractive at all. It makes for good firewood though.
4. Take before and after pictures (coming to a blog near you soon) because you'll be impressed with all your work later on. It's nice to look at just how much work you've put into it.
5. A Jeep Cherokee is not 4' wide. If you're going to Home Depot and don't want to be stared at for your creative drywall and 2x4 hauling method I suggest you borrow a truck. The drywall will fit in a Cherokee... but sideways and it will hang out the back end. You will end up tying the spare tire to the roof. Trust me... its funny and completely redneck all at the same time.
6. The Bratwurst at Home Depot will hit the spot. I guarantee it. I don't care if it comes off of a cart... eat it. Thank me later.
7. When returning the huge cart back to the front of the Home Depot store make sure you ride on it. Strangers will look at you like you're crazy and jealous all at the same time. No, I don't plan on growing up any time soon.
8. When trying to kick a hole through thick drywall use your heel and not your toe. I just saved you many minutes of toe anguish.
9. When kicking a hole through drywall be sure you have shoes that will stay on your feet. I just saved you many moments trying to find your shoe in a wall.
10. Power tools kick some serious ass. Not only will you revert to being a 5 year old but they're noisy and fun. They will get the job done a billion times faster than you will manually.
11. When purchasing screws, be sure the screws are long enough to go through the wood and into what you're attaching it to. I just saved you half an hour of pounding on nails upside down with a shitty hammer.
12. Don't ponder on the irony of the "Good Housekeeping" magazine from October of 1998 that you found behind the deep freezer too long. It's funny... just move on.
That's it for today! I'm sure I'll have more for you at a later date.