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What would J.Lo do?
...written on 02.16.05, @ 1:30 pm
I went shopping last night. I know I know... I hate shopping but sometimes it has to be done. I have 2 pairs of pants I wear religiously and they're starting to bother me for whatever reason. I need new pants but surprisingly they're #2 on the list of things I dread shopping for.
I suppose I wouldn't have a problem if I was a stick thin model type girl but I have booty issues of J.Lo proportions folks. Unless you suffer right along with me you have no idea what problems an ass this size create. I love my ass, it could be a tad smaller but I still love it. I hate shopping for it.
A multitude of things prevent me from enjoying this experience. It starts with the fact that I have to buy larger sizes to fit my ass. If that doesn't immediately cause a funk, you're better than me. Then there's the lighting in the dressing room. Not chunk friendly kids. Then comes the realization that I must have some strange body type because nothing fits right at all. After about an hour of trying on 40 pairs of pants... you can imagine my attitude.
Forget going to the juniors section. While they have cute things I think the last time I fit into anything was when I was 10, right before I had boobs. Once I got the boobs it was all downhill.
Apparently grown women don't wear cargo pants anymore so that was out. Not that I didn't try on some khakis... but those have to fit just perfect in order to work and I haven't successfully found those in 5 years at least. Work pants? Forget it. The only pants that I'm comfortable wearing came from Wally World. Not that I didn't try any last night it's just that I had no success.
Since I was on a mission for cargo pants specifically I wouldn't give up. I finally broke down and went to the men's section. I used to purchase men's pants all the time until someone tried to make me feel like a goober for doing it. I don't care that they have the potential of making me look like I have a pee pee. I don't care that they're not made for women. Men do not have curves. They have a shorter waist. They have parts that dangle off of their bodies� so why do so many women buy men's pants? Honest to god it's because they're somehow flattering on our bodies. This doesn't work for all women but I got hot just looking at myself in the mirror.
Alas... I didn't find exactly what I was looking for. There was a potential pair that I have to think about but now that I've accepted that women's clothing companies suck... I'm off to Old Navy tonight to look at the men's section.
Because I didn't want to waste 2 hours of shopping for nothing... I purchased a sweet new pair of Vans that were on sale. I'm pretty sure Vans are still some of the coolest damn shoes on the planet.