pretty glow

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
...written on 02.03.05, @ 1:13 pm

This whole �seeing Todd on the weekends� bit is getting old. Mind you� I�m not disgruntled about it but I miss him. I�m noticing that right around Thursday I start getting sidetracked at work thinking about him touching me or just being near him period. I send him text messages in Gaelic and I�m just generally pretty useless.

At first it was cool because I still wasn�t sure how I felt about the whole thing and that time apart gave me some thinking space. Now� I don�t need the space� just him. I broke down two weeks ago and cried before I left the truck stop on Sunday. I didn�t mean to because it isn�t fair to make him feel bad about something he can�t change just yet� but it just happened. It wasn�t a lengthy, bawl your eyes out crying� but the single tear down the face might almost be worse.

I finally broke down and told my mom how much this means to me last night. She said she kind of figured as much but it wasn�t any of her business until I made it her business. Perhaps because I�ve kept this so close to me she knew it was different. She likes Todd from what she�s experienced of him and I guess that�s where it has to start. She asked a lot of questions.

So anyway� I miss Todd.

:: | ::
pretty | glow