pretty glow

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
...written on 02.03.05, @ 1:13 pm

This whole “seeing Todd on the weekends” bit is getting old. Mind you… I’m not disgruntled about it but I miss him. I’m noticing that right around Thursday I start getting sidetracked at work thinking about him touching me or just being near him period. I send him text messages in Gaelic and I’m just generally pretty useless.

At first it was cool because I still wasn’t sure how I felt about the whole thing and that time apart gave me some thinking space. Now… I don’t need the space… just him. I broke down two weeks ago and cried before I left the truck stop on Sunday. I didn’t mean to because it isn’t fair to make him feel bad about something he can’t change just yet… but it just happened. It wasn’t a lengthy, bawl your eyes out crying… but the single tear down the face might almost be worse.

I finally broke down and told my mom how much this means to me last night. She said she kind of figured as much but it wasn’t any of her business until I made it her business. Perhaps because I’ve kept this so close to me she knew it was different. She likes Todd from what she’s experienced of him and I guess that’s where it has to start. She asked a lot of questions.

So anyway… I miss Todd.

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pretty | glow